Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
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All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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