its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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