She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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