I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize