Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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