Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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