So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
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You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize