I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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