I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize