He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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