remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize