what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's blow job season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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