Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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