i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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