I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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