Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize