And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize