The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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