You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize