oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize