god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize