Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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