Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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