to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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