The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
is wine microwaveable?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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