I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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