I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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