i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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