"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize