nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize