I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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