the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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