I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Its about making memories worth repressing
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize