She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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