Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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