I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize