Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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