at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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