oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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