someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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