i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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