I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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