Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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