Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize