It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize