i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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