Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize