I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
that's an acceptable place to lick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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