His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize