i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize